Houston, We Have A Problem!

A confidential source contacted us this week with a bizarre story. As we all know astronaut’s aboard the international space station actions are broadcast live 24/7 on NASA TV . There also is a secret more private channel aboard the space station.A “what if” communication channel.

What if they became trapped up there and wanted to say goodbye to loves ones without the whole world watching? What if E.T. finally arrived and The president didn’t want the whole world knowing until the USA could determine if they were Friendly or foe?

This is exactly what this private channel is for and a million other “what if’s” that the government does not want the rest of the world knowing.

All astronauts would have to do is wait until the international space station slipped behind the moon and out of regular NASA TV range. Then turn to the private channel, that broadcasts to powerful satellites in higher orbit for a private message.

This is exactly what happened last Monday. About 3 weeks ago a new country joined the space program and sent one of their astronauts to the Space station, Amsterdam astronauts came aboard and found some of the policy’s were a little outdated.

That’s is when the Private Channel Received this official Transmission, ” Houston, We have a problem. Please send more marijuana”! That’s right, the space station is requesting more Weed. It seems the Amsterdam astronauts snuck some pot brownies aboard.

While it causes sleepiness and the munchies here on earth, it actually has a different side effect in the low gravity space station. It causes a 500% increase in work output and a higher than normal intelligence. Nicknamed The Einstein Grade pot, it apparently causes near genius IQ’s when the astronauts are actively high.

This being the case NASA is rushing a re-Supply Mission with a new rocket to the Space Station ASAP. So the next time you hear or see a new satellite going up, it could be a cover for the major batch of Marijuana brownies getting sent into space. On a side note, all the space stations vending machine seem to be out of snacks. Talks are ongoing with several snack company’s to have them restocked before the astronauts realize this and refuse to do anymore work without Twinkies and Oreos.