NSA says nude snapchats down 42% this month

An inside source at the NSA tells us that employees investigating snapchats are feeling a morale killer. The reason for their morale going down is due to their access to nude selfies via snapchat has taken a sharp decrease. Most NSA analysts blame the bitstrips fiasco that came to light a few weeks ago.

Last month CallTheCops broke the story on how the NSA created the bitstrips app to spy on people. A working theory at the NSA is that now people assume the NSA also created snapchat.

The NSA did not create Snapchat, it was created by a group of college kids. The NSA quickly became interested in the free app due to how easily it can be adapted to a secure communication system.

Snapchat is an app that allows a cell phone user to snap a photo and send it to a friend, or group of friends, via the application. The sender of the photo sets a time limit so the photo can only be viewed for a few seconds. Once the timer runs out the photo vanishes.

According to the team who developed the app the photo never is stored on the local phone that is viewing it, the photo is only stored on the web servers at snapchat. Also once the photo has been viewed it is deleted from the snapchat servers never to be seen again.

NSA experts quickly saw how our enemies could use this as secret communications tool. One insider told us this. “Terrorists write a note by hand. They snap a photo and send it via the app to their terrorist buddies. Because it is not text or voice our NSA keyword searching supercomputers can’t process snapchats. So we are forced to have an employee sit and watch photo after photo flip past them. If an analysts sees a potential terror message we have a system to screen capture that image before snapchat deletes it.”

This insider would not say specifically that the NSA hacked snapchat but that was the general inference of the conversation.

“You can’t imagine how mind numbing it is to look at random pic after random pic. Selfie at work, selfie at the gym, selfie in the car, selfie after selfie gets real dam old, real fast. But it is less mind numbing when you get a good number of nude slefies to also look at. Both guys and girls showing off everything they got, it broke up the monotony of this assignment. But now everyone thinks the NSA created Snapchats, so they are going back to using email to send the good pics.”

The developers at Snapchat were not willing to return our email as of publishing this.