UL Fire Research admits to being bunch of Pyromaniacs with jobs

UL Firefighter Safety Research Institute has been doing a series of experiments that will revolutionize modern firefighting tactics. CallTheCops has discovered an interesting fact about the scientists running these tests. They are in fact Pyromaniacs!

UL_FirePyromania is a compulsion to set fires. It is a psychological condition that causes many people to become arsonists. Most diagnosed with pyromania will be placed in mental health institutions so their fire setting will not hurt anyone.

Dr. Ronald Bartel tells us. “As a teen I got into a little bit of trouble. Noting major but I was on the path to being uncontrolled. Then in chemistry class we talked about fire. I was inspired and wanted to learn more. Next thing I knew it was years later and I was in college doing experiments with fires. I could set fires to feed my fire loving compulsions, but they were for good not for evil.”

Lab manager Don Rimgale says this about having Pyromaniacs doing fire research. “These guys love their job. Most bosses have to pay overtime and beg employees to work harder. These guys if allowed out in public would set fires for free. Me offering to pay them to play with fire keeps them under control and helps improve the fire service.”

Fire service leaders find this to be a double win for the fire service. Chief John Adcox had this insight. “My firefighters don’t have to worry about some serial arsonist because the pyro is working in a lab. In addition his work creating new tactics to fight fire. So my men are twice as safe now from paying him to set fires like that.”

Various member of congress question why tax monies go to pay a pyromaniac to set fire. But they tend to shut up when reminded that the FBI and CIA hire convicted criminal hackers to protect US computer systems from other hackers. So this is truly fighting fire with fire.

About Staff

The staff at the CallTheCops are all people who now or at one time did work as police, firefighters, in EMS and even dispatch.