Call the Cops The 27th Most Trusted Site in Public Safety
Casual Dress Fridays are a day many professionals look forward to. It is a day when they can stop their passive-aggressive competition over who has the best suit and can instead focus on who’s been to J Crew this season. Most of these days go without incident, however a recent Casual Dress Friday turned to disaster one crew of EMTs and Paramedics.
EMTs in plain cloths causing issues with patients.
The day began like any other, with crews running 2-3 calls and getting in a several hour nap. Then tragedy struck.
“We got a call around noon for an 80 year old male who passed out on the toilet,” said 911 Dispatcher Claira Thompson, who unknowingly sent the crew out to certain disaster.
CTC interviewed EMT Joe Fisher, the partner of Paramedic Tom Wallace who still has not recovered from the incident. “It was terrible,” Fisher said while chain smoking Marlboro’s and staring off into the distance. “We figured it was just some old man who vasovagalled on the john. Figured we would just scoop him up and toss him on the gurney, then be back at the station in time for Jerry Springer. We were wrong.”
The call went smooth until the crew reached the door. The patient’s wife, thinking that the EMT and Paramedic were door-to-door salesmen initially refused to let them in, shouting “We don’t want any!” through the peephole. After half an hour of debate, and the EMT getting in the ambulance and blasting the sirens a few times, the wife agreed to let them into the house.
“The place was crowded, like Hoarder status.” Fisher continued with his story, “We couldn’t get the gurney inside, so we left it at the door.”
The crew climbed over old stacks of newspapers and miscellaneous memorabilia to reach the bathroom in the back of the house.
“The patient had already woken up by the time we reached him. His glucose and ECG came back fine, and he said this happened to him before on several occasions. Mostly after Thanksgiving or Taco Tuesdays.” Fisher went on after lighting up another smoke and grabbing his 10th cup of coffee for the day. “We got him to agree to go to the hospital, but he still felt too dizzy to stand. So we would have to carry him.”
But the house was too packed to carry the patient out, and the crew decided on the easiest way to get him to the gurney. “We decided that if we moved the TV and a few stacks of newspapers we would have enough of a path. And that’s when shit hit the fan!”
Unknown to the crew, Agnes Wentworth, a neighbor and the local Nosey-Nancy, heard the commotion and called the cops about a suspected break-in. “I saw two fellows dressed in jeans and long coats. One had on one of those gang-banger caps and the other was a minority I think.” Wentworth said in a later interview when asked about her involvement.
“It was cold that day, we were both wearing jackets and I had on a beanie.” Fisher said when asked about what they wore for casual dress day. “The cops pulled up right when we were carrying the TV out to the lawn.”
The first officer on scene was rookie Paul Harmon, who jumped from his car and shouted at Fisher and Wallace thinking they were burglars.
“He scared the shit out of us, so of course we drop the TV and start looking around for whatever danger he’s warning us about,” -Fisher.
“I could have swore I heard a gun shot when they dropped the TV, so I jumped behind my car and called for backup while laying down covering fire!” -Harmon.
Fisher and Wallace sprinted back inside the house and hid behind a stack of magazines. “We hoped that Travel and Leisure would keep us safe. No one goes near that magazine, not even bullets! We called our Sup and told him to get on the phone with PD.”
“I called our hotline to PD and told them our crew was getting shot at,” Supervisor Harrings said, “but they freaked out and hung up before I could say that it was their cops shooting at them. I decided to drive to the scene myself. I had to take my own car since the Sup truck was in the shop.”
Harrings arrived on scene at the same time as SWAT, and was immediately arrested as a suspected accomplice. Luckily one of the cops recognized him.
“Yeah, I know that guy,” said Sergeant McCollins, a veteran police officer of 10 years, “he still owes me $50 for the last Bronco’s game!”
The shootout was over, but the crew still had a job to do. “We didn’t get to go home, we still had to carry our patient out. That’s when the worst of it happened. My partner had these brand new white shoes, I mean they were beautiful. He loved them. Half way out the house the patient’s bowels finally kicked in and… well you can guess the rest. It’s true that only the good die young…”
