NYPD Duo in hot water after Damaging Police vehicle

Two Of NYC’s Finest are in hot water. The 2 nicknamed “the rocket scientist’s” After Actually being employed by NASA under the title Rocket Engineers but being let go after the cancelation of the Space program are in big trouble, sources close to top brass at Police HQ in Nyc reported. At the start of their tour last Wednesday the 2 partners and long time friends were given a old, rundown police Vehicle or Rmp as the NYPD call them to use. They had one mission to pick up the Nyc’s Chief wife from a day of shopping from Park avenue in Manhattan and drove her to long island to her home and make sure she got home safely. A mission that has been successfully done by other officers a hundreds of times, but not this time by these 2 rocket scientist.

Their commanding officer gave them the mission and a set of keys with one term, “Do not shut the Rmp off”! Source’s From the Same Police Station told us other officers have been complaining that the car has bad batteries and needs to be jumped all the time if shut off. The duo on their way to meet the chief’s wife stopped off for a cup of coffee in Times square at a Starbucks. They parked in a “no Idling” zone. once out of the car they noticed a NYPD Ticket And traffic agent approaching.

Knowing that those Agents will ticket their own mothers they decided to brake the only rule given to them. They turned the car off. Once inside and after paying the $59.45 bill for only 2 cups of coffee, they went outside and found the car dead. This is when their day went from bad to worse, but their day went horrible with the next decision that the team made. A few Rmp’s across the 5 Boro’s are equipped with a A.E.D.(automatic external Defibrillator ) used incase they beat other First responders to heart attack victims.

Absolutely Terrified that the chiefs wife would be stranded on Park Avenue and pissed and tell her husband, the duo applied the De-fib to the cars dead battery. If it worked for Dead People, why not Dead Cars the team was heard saying. They actually got a “shock advised” and pressed the shock button. That’s when things went down the shitter fast. The cars engine compartment began to smoke and almost immediately the Rmp was engulfed in flames. At the same time the expired De-fib began to melt.

Once heard screaming on the air for fire forthwith, a term always used by the Nypd to rush fire trucks and Ambulances when its tour change or they just don’t want to wait Could not be traced. The Dispatcher tried to home in on their signal but as always the city’s Gps System installed on Police cars, Fire trucks and city Ambulances 4 years ago was not working. The system that Has a 86% down time and cost the city millions could not locate the police car anywhere in the city. One of the officers ran to a corner call box, but is was disabled under mayor bloombergs plan 2 years ago. Finally a passerby let them use his cellphone but instead of dialing 911, they called the dispatcher’s 7 digit phone number. It was only after the 6th call and they told Central over their portable radio’s ” landline central, forthwith” that she actually picked up and sent fire to them.

The Furious chiefs wife not used to waiting for police cars was finally driven home by a sanitation supervisor. The duo is currently on paid leave pending a investigation. The Rmp and de-fib were both total loses. Starbucks refused to comment after being made aware of the officers high bill when there is a “no charge” policy for the Nypd and Firefighters and a 10% discount for FDNY Medics. The tag team has a number of department charges against them 2 of the more serious were using a De-fib without being C.P.R trained and leaving a Chiefs wife without transportation. There next hearing is December 18th and this reporter/ writer will be there to report the outcome.