Mayor urges citizens to buy guns as police department folds up

The Spurbury mayor is telling citizen to go out an buy guns. Her proclamation comes as the Spurbury police is about to fold up and close. Younger officers are quitting and the older officers are taking their retirements. By June the 30 person department will be down to seven cops.

Gun ControlChief Dan Grady explains this mass exodus. “After that whole Ferguson event we have been seeing our younger cops leave. They see how the media is churning out the anti cop feelings and want to find a new career before hate for police becomes too deep. At the same time no one wants to apply for police jobs any more.”

Data shared with CallTheCops shows that a whopping four job applications were turned in for the last police hiring process. Of those four applications one had a drunk driving conviction, two could not pass the physical fitness exam, and the last one did not bother to show up for his interview.

“We just are not getting any quality applications anymore” said the Chief. “Everyone with half a brain is trying to become a firefighter EMT. Today it seems to be the vogue fad to hate the cops, yet still love the Fire and EMS guys.”

When the announcement that Baltimore was going to charge the police in the death of Freddie Gray, three Spurbury officers submitted two week notices. It seems that police are viewing themselves as scapegoats and don’t want to be in that role.

A vocal local CopBlock member being elected to city council has not helped with police. This official, John Timber, has staged many protests in the city. He has also used his political power to intimidate any police officer who dares to so much as write a parking ticket to a friend of councilmen Timber.

Mayor Lynda Jessman says they city rather not have cops than resort to hiring sub standard police officers. “As long as some of our current cops want to keep their jobs I will let them. Problem is we will likely only have enough officers for limited coverage. Meaning you better be ready to save your own ass before hoping we might have a cop on duty and free to respond. Meaning I think all members of this city should have a gun and carry it at all times.”

The police chief still have five years before he can retire due to personal financial issues. “A vocal minority is calling for the end to our police department. They have won. I just hope that the silent majority of police who support police don’t get hurt by this.”

Councilman Timber did not return our calls or emails.

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The staff at the CallTheCops are all people who now or at one time did work as police, firefighters, in EMS and even dispatch.