Call the Cops The 27th Most Trusted Site in Public Safety
Today the City of Chicago announced a new strategy in the war on crime. Chicago Alderman Jefferson Jones announced his office with the cooperation of the FBI, Homeland Security, Department of Justice, and an independent research organization have been studying crime statistics for the last 10 years and their investigation has come up with a not yet realized similarity of all the gun crimes in America.
Gun Violence
Alderman Jones states that with this new information his office immediately drafted Project Safe Streets. Project Safe Streets immediately allocates 10.5 million dollars for the City of Chicago to “white out” every A, E, I, O and U on every street sign and address in Chicago. Once completed Alderman Jones states criminals will have nowhere to commit their crimes so crime with a gun will stop. Alderman Jones states he is happy his Project Safe Streets will once again make the streets of Chicago safe for small children to walk on at 3 in the morning.
Alderman Jones was asked if truth in sentencing, going after gang members, prosecuting criminals, enforcing gun laws on the books, and enforcing ordinances would also be utilized to combat gun crime in Chicago. Alderman Jones stated he has found that to actually combat criminals once must think outside the box of common sense and right and wrong. Alderman Jones states that Project Safe Streets is just one phase in a multi layered strategy to combat crime.
Alderman Jones unveiled Phase II of his Crime fighting strategy. Phase II is the Safe Neighborhood TV broadcasting Act. Alderman Jones states in order for Phase I to be completely successful criminals must not know that vowels ever existed. Alderman Jones is wanting to ban all TV broadcasts of Sesame Street in the City Limits of Chicago. This story will be updated.
