US Parks Service Agents open investigation on Steven Spielberg

A viral Internet photo has caused the US Parks Service to initiate an investigation for cruelty to animals involving director Steven Spielberg. The photo depicts Spielberg sitting next to a dead triceratops prop from the movie Jurassic Park.

Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly is spear heading the investigation. According to reports the investigation started when agents started to look for records dealing with the film production of Jurassic Park. There were no records of the production filing for animal safety permits.

“We believe that the producers failed to protect that poor animal which resulted in its death. Furthermore according to top scientists the triceratops is now extinct.”

Wildlife Marshals would not speculate at this time if Spielberg killed the last triceratops or if he just one of the last few remaining. If it were found that he did

“At this point we are focusing on the poaching charges. Better to lock in charges you can prove before trying to dig up dirt penalty enhancers.”

If found guilty of poaching a triceratops Spielberg could face hefty fines, off the record speculation is the penalty could be as high as a million dollars. Some people are calling for much more stiff fines.

Dinosaur expert Dr. Ken Ham wants all past and any future profits made from the production of Jurassic Park to be surrendered.

“Man has been destroying God’s creation for thousands of years. Now we are going to cause an extinction event just so Hollywood can have a blockbuster movie? When will this madness end?”

Marshal Willenholly agrees with Dr. Ham but notes that ultimately it will be up to the courts and a jury to decide the fate of Mr. Spielberg.