Officer Eddie Cusack is was taken to the hospital this morning after responding to a disturbance at Nordstroms. A group of women were apparently fighting over some limited quantity Coach Purse deal.
Upon the officers arrival he found a group of suburban housewives verballing arguing about who was where in line for this door buster deal. “There I was staring at like thirty MILFs all dressed in yoga pants and Ugg boots. Seriously it was just me versus this suburban mom army, dispatch said backup was going to be five minutes.”Commander Kates, Officer Cusack’s supervisor, told us that other stores had door buster disturbances so other units were tied up.
Officer Cusack went on to say. “Next thing I know the manager opens the store and they all bull rush the door. Problem was I was between them and the door. There I was flat on back looking up at fuzzy boots and yoga pant camel toes. I actually had this thought about death by camel toe. Trust me… that is thought that will haunt you man… I close my eyes and that is all I see… I can’t get it out of my head…”
The officer was transported by EMS for some minor injuries. At the ER he was treated and released. Commander Kates tells us they have given Eddie the rest of the weekend off to clear his head.
Officer Cusack tells CallTheCops he is not sure he can return to work. This near death experience has shaken his faith in his commitment to the job.