PETA Targets EMS

Mere hours after posting a derogatory thread about soldiers on Memorial Day, PETA unleashed a second attack on EMS workers.

To most Memorial Day is a day to remember the fallen who have given their lives for this country. To PETA however it was an opportunity to take a swing at the military, by posting exaggerated claims about soldiers on their FaceBook page.

“Here Are 12 Photo’s the Military Doesn’t Want You To See!” PETA bragged in their post, before going into the ‘horrors’ of the Military’s Goat Lab, which has been credited to saving thousands of lives. An unconfirmed report claims that a PETA spokesman stated that “An animal’s life means as much as a soldier’s. In fact it means more! At PETA we are OK with a greater loss of troops as long as it means that pigs and goats stop getting harmed!”

While the country was still trying to comprehend how an organization can lack so much tact that they would attack the military on a day for remembering troops who made the ultimate sacrifice, PETA launched a second attack, this time at EMS.

“This EMS week, we wan’t people to remember that many of the treatments EMS provides were tested on animals. We do not condone this type of torture. We do not condone animals being injected with substances that are unnatural to them, such as Epinephrine. We do not condone animals being raped by intubation tubes. We would like to call on the world to boycott EMS, and treat those who rape underaged animals with their treatments like pedophiles as what they really are- the scum of the earth!”

Not surprisingly, Gary Yourofsky, who earlier claimed that women who wear fur deserve to be raped, jumped on the wagon, stating that “since EMS workers are required to wear leather boots, they ALL deserve to get raped so violently it either scars them for life or prolapses their anus!”

We talked to PETA spokesman Mary J Puffer, who sounded remorseful at first, apologizing for mixing up the dates of EMS week. When asked if PETA would rescind it’s position on EMS workers however, she replied “oh heavens no! You all are a bunch of savages and deserve to be put down like dogs! Yourofsky was right about you!”

How this new position will effect PETA is yet to be seen, however it already does not look good. Several long time supporters have abandoned the organization, calling it too extreme for them. This does not look like it will make a dent in their funding however, as the Westboro Baptist Church, who is infamous for picketing soldier’s funerals, has signed onto PETA, saying they would rather see dogs in heaven than soldiers. PETA has been unavailable for comment about the new sponsorship, but Shirley Phelps-Roper, the WBC’s spokesperson, called it a new merger between the two organizations, and hinted that PETA has been working together with them for quite some time.

Call The Cops will report more as the story develops