President Obama made a startling announcement today. If he can’t get congressional authorization for military action against Syria, he will use a legal loophole. That loophole, he will not send the military, he will send the cops.
“It is clear to anyone who watches the news that US police departments have become highly militarized. We have SWAT teams that are on part with any of the top special forces units. If congress will not allow me military power, I will work around them.”
Before getting into politics Obama was a lawyer and did teach at law school. If any president could find a legal loophole it would be him.
Police chiefs from around the nation were stunned by the sudden announcement. LAPD Chief Charlie Beck said this. “Where does he think all these cops are going to come from. I do not have any officers to spare.”
The International Association of Chiefs of Police (IACP) has not released an official statement yet. Unofficially the IACP is telling police chiefs to start taking applications and testing for new cops.
Rumor has it that Obama will be authorizing some major funds to be added to the Department of Justice local law enforcement block grants. These grants will all focus on adding new officers to the city rosters.
One source at the IACP told us. “If the rumor is true, these grants will allow police departments to send current officers over to Syria. Then hire new officer to ensure the city is kept at the proper police staffing levels.”
Chief Beck is not impressed. “Filling my city streets with rookies and sending my experienced guys to some shit hole having a civil war is idiotic. After 30+ years as a cop I guess I should assume lawyers and politicians will do idiotic shit. Now we got a lawyer in the top political office, need I say more.”
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