The Gathering of the Pigeons Meets in Branson, Missouri

In response to the annual Gathering of the Eagles, a meeting held with many prominent national EMS medical directors, a group of older, far less progressive doctors and paramedics calling themselves the Pigeons held their own gathering at Yakov Smirnov’s dinner theatre in Branson Missouri. The purpose of the meeting was to draft a response to many of the recommendations made by the Eagles.

During the show’s intermission while enjoying a catered dinner of Carolina pulled pork, Yukon gold mashed potatoes and a vegetable medley, the group’s elected chairman Dr. Michael Shaw from Skandia General Hospital in Skandia, Michigan presided over the meeting. After a short introduction of all thirty doctors in the room, which included doctors with decades upon decades of experience they turned their attention to the list of recommendations made by the Eagles. Here are some excerpts from the group’s responses:

Pay more attention to time on chest – The Pigeons recommend that paramedics and EMTs stop fondling their patients and respect their personal space.

Pressure to reduce call volume and get more patients to sites other that the emergency room – The Pigeons feel that the best place for every patient is the emergency room. Their doctors see the greatest variety of medical emergencies making them ready for anything.

Hospitals are now (because of the ACA and patient satisfaction demands) paying closer attention to prehospital EMS and patient care – The Pigeons do not believe that any patient should be transported by canoe to a hospital, and do not feel that the American Canoe Association should have any oversight over prehospital care.

Systems need to use technology and negative news to help EMS systems solve system woes – The Pigeons feel that any news is good news for EMS. That is why they asked that this article be written.

EMS needs better active shooter management – The Pigeons recommend that every EMS and fire department form a department paintball team, and a national tournament be held.

The national push for police and fire first responders to administer Narcan – After a short discussion the group concluded that “That’ll never work!”

Dr. Steven Williams from Denver, Colorado felt that the gathering was a success. “I am proud to be a Pigeon, and I will be back next year!” He says the partner in his medical consulting firm Dr. Mike Drond plans to attend next year when the meeting is held in Reno, Nevada. “It’s not Vegas, but its close!” Dr. Williams said.

One final recommendation was made by the group. Raymond Traylor, a paramedic from Marietta, Georgia suggested to the group that Emergency Medical Technicians have their titles changed to Ambulance Transport Aid Technicians. The group unanimously voted to support this measure and they hope to put out their first class of ATATs sometime in 2016.

After the meeting, Doctor Shaw was asked why they chose the pigeon as the bird to represent their organization. “They’re grounded. How often do you see pigeons flying around? We believe that in order to succeed, we need to keep ourselves closer to what is familiar to us. Also, they’re smart. Watch them scatter when a car drives at them. Those birds are not dumb!”