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The police chief of DeFututa, California has figured out the answers to his budget shortfall. He is pimping out his officers.
Safety Escorts… only lunch dates
Chief Drecker was told that the police budget would need to be trimmed in order to keep in the black. Problem is he was already operating with out any fiscal safety-net. Then one day at shift change the idea came to him.
“I was looking around and realized I got a department filled with fine looking young men. From what my wife tells me we got a city filled with rich women who’s husbands work too many hours leaving them alone too much.”
With that, the “Safety Escort” service was born. According to Chief Drecker, “the service simply provides an officer to take the lady to lunch and shopping. A personal body guard for when she is out and about in the city.”
The chief is adamant that his officers are only lunch and shopping companions. Bodyguards with a hint of eyecandy. “We set up a 501c charitable organization. The women are making a donation to the PD via the charity. My officers are donating their time to act as body guards. But we do encourage the ladies to tip the officers.”
Members of the community are not convinced. As one citizen said, “I have never seen an officer at lunch or at the mall with anyone”.
The chief counters with, “Many of our clients want to go into LA or Beverly Hills. A bodyguard is more important in the big city than little old DeFututa.”
None of the officers who donate time to the “Safety Escort” were willing to talk to us.
One client who was willing to talk anonymously said this. “I don’t pay the boys to take me to lunch. That would be a waste of money. Trust me I am getting my monies worth right inside my house.”
