Fred Phelps arrives in hell to find demons protesting his admittance

The once all-powerful leader of the hate filled Westboro Baptist Church has died. Immediately upon clinical death Fred Phelps found himself at the gates of Hell. But word is many Demons are protesting his entrance into eternal damnation.

CallTheCops was granted special access by Damnation Administrator B.L. Zebub.

“Yeah I know this is the eternal pit of despair, lake of fire, all that stuff… but do you realize what’s going to happen to our property values once that fucking douche moves in.”

Hell is currently filled with lawyers, pedophiles, bank loan officers and other scourge of society. Having a church leader in mix will make it seem less hellish.

“We don’t want his kind in here. He knows how to make people believe weird ass bullshit that no sane person would ever believe. Seriously this fucktard got people to protest at the funerals of HEROS… what kind of shit will he stir up with everyone dammed to hell?”

Administrator Zebub would not go so far as to say he feared a coup but said the influence of Phelps did concern him.

B.L. Zebub decided to go upstairs to talk to Yahweh, but got stuck talking to Michael the archangel…

“You take him.”

“No, YOU take him.”

“We can’t take him. God hates WBC.”

“What, and we’re just supposed to welcome your rejects?”

“Well, yeah. It’s Hell. That’s sort of the point.”

“Well, fuck me. I want to renegotiate our deal. If we take Phelps, I want Billy Graham, Mother Teresa, and a cherub to be named later.”

The argument finally ended when Jesus spoke up. “Reincarnation is the answer. Send him back to earth as a butch lesbian who will join the military. Then send him/her off to some shitty ass war to die for a second time. By then we will figure out who is stuck with that soul for eternity.”