Cryptosporidium outbreak blamed on Heroin filled condom bursting on delivery

Chicago hospitals have been dealing with a sudden onslaught of cryptosporidium cases. Cryptosporidium is a form of food poisoning that caused by ingesting items tainted with human fecal matter.

Officials have been able been able to track this outbreak due to a common theme. All the sick individuals were heroin users. Some had even been administered narcan to prevent a heroin overdose before the food sickness symptoms started.

None of the victims have been willing to talk to police about who their dealer is. All the patients come from a similar geographic part of the city. Drug intelligence officers have come up with a theory.

Heroin is often times smuggled into the country by human couriers called “mules”. For many mules the transport method is to swallow condom’s filled with the drug. Once in the USA the mule then poops the condom out.

Often times if mules have issues unsafe does of laxatives are given. It the drugs still do not exit, then unlicensed doctors might be called in to conduct surgery. Knowing the fate of not pooping most mules learn to push hard and force that condom out.

One drug task force member who talked to us off the record said this. “I can imagine it now. Some poor mule sitting on bucket drinking a fiber drink and/or a laxative just grunting away. I bet he pushed so hard that he caused explosive diarrhea, launching that condom out rupturing it. That heroin got all kinds of contaminated in all the liquefied shit.”

The Doctor we talked with seemed agrees with this theory. “In the digestive system that condom would become weakened. Pressure from the muscles in the pelvic floor used to push during a hard bowel movement could easily then rupture it. If the rupture happened at or near the anus then all that drug material would exit along with the fecal waste.”

Until this batch of heroin is off the streets hospitals are stocking up on Nitazoxanide, a drug used for Cryptosporidium.